{"product_id":"dog-captain-kids-tee","title":"Dog Captain Kid's Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Lore\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCaptures the \u003cstrong\u003emid-2010s anthropomorphic portraiture\u003c\/strong\u003e movement that transformed internet memes into high art. The stoic Golden Retriever profile with that warm amber fur against nautical regalia triggers instant recognition (those dapper animal photoshops that dominated Reddit front pages). Wearing this proves you appreciate deadpan humor beyond basic cute animal motifs. For those who remember when Business Cat ruled office memes and renaissance pet portraits went viral—this is your sophisticated throwback to absurd internet elegance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sourced regionally for speed and reduced transport emissions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dense-Knit 240 GSM (93% polyester, 7% spandex) · \u003cstrong\u003eEU:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight 215 GSM (96% polyester, 4% spandex)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrint Tech:\u003c\/strong\u003e Deep-Dyed Sublimation—ink uses high temperature vapor osmosis to bond directly with the fabric molecules for a zero-texture, breathable print that will never crack, peel, or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Graphics feel weightless—like wearing dignified maritime authority instead of cotton. Commands respect at the playground with the quiet confidence of someone who knows they're the captain now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Regular fit with 2-way stretch that allows for all-day active play. Size up for room to grow! Battle-tested for active play.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Trust\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCPSIA Compliant · Tested Safe for Sensitive Skin · OEKO-TEX® 100 · REACH Compliant · Zero-Wastewater Printing · \u003cstrong\u003eSweatshop-Free Production (US\/EU)\u003c\/strong\u003e · Made-to-Order (Zero Overproduction) · \u003cstrong\u003eFade-Resistant Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRating:\u003c\/strong\u003e G · Wholesome Absurdist · Family Safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVisual Accessibility:\u003c\/strong\u003e This whimsical, high-definition portrait presents a dignified Golden Retriever in profile, showcasing realistic warm amber fur. The canine captain wears a nautical peaked cap (detailed with metallic bullion gold laurels) and clamps a vintage wood pipe firmly in its mouth. Soft-focus bokeh blends pale cloud blue skies with muted grassy tones to create a serene coastal backdrop.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shirtwascash","offers":[{"title":"2T","offer_id":46510721532090,"sku":"kum1788074281978","price":21.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3T","offer_id":46510721564858,"sku":"aea1788074281979","price":20.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4T","offer_id":46510721597626,"sku":"mlh1788074281980","price":25.37,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5T","offer_id":46510721630394,"sku":"lyx1788074281981","price":24.05,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6","offer_id":46510721663162,"sku":"drs1788074281982","price":20.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6X","offer_id":46510721695930,"sku":"gmy1788074281983","price":20.76,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"7","offer_id":46510721728698,"sku":"kxb1788074281984","price":20.1,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0707\/1295\/0970\/files\/dog-captain-kids-tee_1.jpg?v=1788074291","url":"https:\/\/www.dovetailmarket.shop\/products\/dog-captain-kids-tee","provider":"My Store","version":"1.0","type":"link"}